(Malaysian): Where are you from?
(Me): Brazil.
(Malaysian): Oh, Brazil! Ronaldo!
(Me): ...
(Malaysian): Why isn’t Brazil taking part in Euro 2004?
(Me): Because Brazil is not in Europe.
(Malaysian): Oh...Where is it?
(Me): South America.
(Malaysian): So you speak English in Brazil?
(Me): No, Portuguese.
(Malaysian): But I thought they spoke English in America!
(Me): No, no... When I say America I mean South America, not United States.
(Malaysian): ...
(Malaysian): I thought Brazilians had curly hair. Why don’t you have curly hair?
(Me): ...
(Malaysian): All Brazilians I’ve seen have dark skin.Why do you look like an European?
(Me): ...
(Malaysian): Do you have a girlfriend?
(Me): No.
(Malaysian): Have you ever had one?
(Me): No, never.
(Malaysian): But I thought Brazilian girls were all very pretty!
(Me): ...
(Malaysian): If England has the best football in the world, why aren’t players like Ronaldo and Robinho in the English Premier League?
(Me): ...
(Malaysian): Hey, why are you eating with your hands?! You are a western... in the West they don’t use hands to eat!
(Me): ...
(Malaysian): I heard you went to a buddhist temple last weekend. You cannot do that, you are a christian!
(Me): ...
(Malaysian): If you can speak English and your friends in Brazil can speak English, why don’t you talk to each other in English?
(Me): ...
(Malaysian): Which language do they speak in Brazil?
(Me): Portuguese.
(Malaysian): There’s no Brazilian language?
(Me): Well, there are some indigenous languages.
(Malaysian): Do you know how to speak them?
(Me): Not really.
(Malaysian): Why not? You are Brazilian!
(Me): ...
(Malaysian): Do Brazilian girls like sex?!
(Me): I guess...
(Malaysian): Have you ever had sex with them?
(Me): No.
(Malaysian): Why not?
(Me): ...
(Malaysian): Marcelo, you are so shy and quiet... I thought all Brazilians were happy and party people!
(Me): ...
